French Children Don't Throw Food: The hilarious NO. 1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER changing parents’ lives

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While I had the underlying thought that maybe it wouldn't be fun, it conflicted with the idea of, "Well, maybe it *could* be. I mean, it can't all be bad." And what the author describes as the "French" method of parenting is pretty much word for word how I always thought I would be as a parent, particularly when discussing the magic of the word "no." I just never got that. I never understood why parents act as though seeing their kids cry for the stupidest reasons was going to break them psychologically. Granted, I have the benefit of working with toddlers and preschoolers, so I've seen tantrums over everything under the sun, which has given me the benefit of some practice/foresight. In that sense, this book is a great resource to sort of get your head in the game before the newbie gets here; make some loose decisions about what you're going to do beforehand and the it's easier to follow through.

In France a child is rarely considered an equal, but a small human being ready to be formatted, partly by its parents but mostly by the state education system. It has to be encadré, kept within a clearly and often rigidly defined framework that places disciplines such as manners and mathematics above creativity and expression. I was originally going to read the first couple of chapters, which deal with infants, and stop there. But much to my surprise, this was a far better book than I had imagined. What I was expecting was another pat, self-help-section miracle solution to everyone's parenting woes type of book (the endorsement by and comparison to French Women Don't Get Fat wasn't helping). What I found instead was an honest, informative, well-researched, and well-written account of an American mother raising children in Paris - and trying to understand the sometimes startling cultural differences she saw. Lise Fuccellaro believes British children may be less disciplined than their French cousins, but says they often grow up to be nicer adults: "French children may be better brought up in the strictest sense, but they grow up to be very individualistic," she said. I've purposefully shied away from so many parenting books on the bookstore shelves these days. It seems like most of those geared toward pregnancy put you in a mild panic about all the things that could go wrong. And the rest? They induce a sense of fear, guilt and inferiority that, book lover though I am, I don't want to gravitate toward as I enjoy this stress-free pregnancy of mine. Some have complained that the author's comments are observational, not scientific. True. But that makes her observations and comments no less valid; or, even, less true.The reason I decided to read this book is based, in large part, on my own fear of parenthood. In a recent discussion with my mother she was horrified to learn that I had lived most of my life with a fear of having children. I had heard over and over that having a child meant the end of your life as you know it (and of course, to a degree that is true). This fear even carried over when one of my best friends announced she was pregnant. I had heard for years that having children meant you stopped being you, and started being a mother. You stopped having friends, because you didn't have time to do or be anything other than a mother. You lost the intimacy with your partner. You ceased to be an individual and became an ideal. And, if you decided to have a life away from your children you were selfish, you weren't living your life with your children as the center of your universe. Wave goodbye to sleep, you won't do it for a few years. Tantrums at any given time? Perfectly normal, no matter how embarrassing. Positive Takeaways- It's possible French parents feel less guilt because they have a more standard parenting method compared to American's buffet of child experts- who usually contradict one another. She added: "We consider our children to be small people, but they are not equal to an adult. They need authority, they need rules and they need to be kept in line. A child is a child and has his place. In France we see authority as a form of affection and believe that a child blossoms because of, not in spite of, that authority. The bottom line is my child can have his own opinion, but it's me who decides." I've always had a soft spot for the French (well, except for that kid, Pierre, who took one of my classes and affirmed every single bad stereotype of Parisians I'd ever heard, and then some). I especially love to read about how Americans perceive French life; I suppose this is an example of me living vicariously through my book choices. Anyway. Bringing Up Bebe has been popping up on my various radar screens for weeks, and I've been at my wit's end with my newly minted three year old lately, so when the opportunity to read a book for pleasure this afternoon presented itself, I decided, why not?

they should give this to every woman who gets pregnant so she can read it before her children are born” Technically speaking, I read this a little late - if you actually want your newborn to sleep through the night, you're supposed to use the French mojo before three months. Regardless, what I appreciated so much about this book is that it held up an alternate paradigm to consider. And the book doesn't sell it as an all-or-nothing deal. In fact, "all" is probably an impossibility without the ensconcement of French culture and its excellent childcare benefits. Reading the book felt like intensely good reflecting material for being mindful and aware of what is good and what can be, for choosing my own parenting path. There are far too many references to one extreme example of American parenting gone wrong and far too many examples of a few observations of French parenting gone right.

I do think there is a generational phenomenon of helicopter parenting and Mommy martyrdom; however, I don't think that defines America's parenting practice as a whole. While I appreciate the mentioned French notion of fostering autonomy, I don't believe it was an earth shattering new parenting philosophy or approach. I laughed through the explanation of fostering autonomy by allowing children one swear word, one that has been used and said by many generations: "caca boudin" (translated to caca sausage). Apparently, if I let my boys run around the house saying "shit", as it is only to be done in private, they are gaining important lessons in self worth and autonomy. Ummmmm, ok. Friends in London admire our children's faultless script – they learn to use fountain pens in the first year of primary school – but are horrified when told that the neighbours' six-year-old was declared " nul" – useless – by his teacher and marked down, even when giving the correct answer, because their ornate, loopy, joined-up handwriting was not up to scratch. The criticism of American nuttiness when it comes to overachievement and obsessive micro-parenting is important. Does it seem funny that a home school mom would be critical of "helicopter parents"? It might. But maybe not if you watched our day. My children tend to work independently. I give the lesson and walk away. I don't hover. I don't follow them at the park narrating their play. In fact, if they come over to my bench my reaction tends to be, depending upon my mood, mildly dismissive to openly hostile. Park time is for them to go play away from me and for me to sit and read without interruption. I agree with those in the book who think parents spend too much time organizing and interfering in their children's minute to minute existence while somehow remaining tremendously aloof from what their children are being taught in school.

The book is also filled with inaccuracies. The supposedly French and superior method of raising children described by the author is so obvious and indistinguishable from what many American parenting books suggest. Here’s an example – her revelation about getting French babies to sleep through the night is “La Pause”, which is just to not respond as soon as your baby makes a noise. I haven’t read any books that suggest you do this and I don’t know any parents that do this. Either the author has a very small and odd set of friends which are coloring her perspective or she wrote this as an amusing work of fiction. The author supposedly quotes the well known book What to Expect as evidence of how neurotic American parenting books are except I read that book and did not recognize any of the ridiculous quotes. Maybe she has a copy from the 50s. She also talks about how the French methods of raising children are based in science and American ones aren’t, citing circadian rhythms as one example of this. I don’t know what parenting books she is reading, but they are not any of the mainstream ones that I have been reading because they are almost all written by doctors or at the very least, cite medical rationale for their assertions. I really can’t believe the author is a journalist. I could go on and on with examples of how poorly written and comically inaccurate this book is, but I have two babies and useful books to read, so I won’t waste my time. The New York Times Wins an Emmy (Its Tenth)". The New York Times Company. 6 October 2017 . Retrieved 16 August 2023.She produced the short film The forger for The New York Times with Samantha Stark and Alexandra Garcia, which won the 2017 News and Documentary Emmy Award. This short film uses shadow animation to tell the story of Adolfo Kaminsky, the famous Parisian forger who made fake passports and saved thousands of children from the Nazis. [10] [11] Let's also start from a premise in which I have no children. The four small people wandering around my home are a tribe of nomads and they are just passing through so I have no dog in this fight regarding the best way to raise children. Because I don't have four of them so my self worth isn't riding on the outcome of this debate.

French mothers often have a greater sense of detachment from their children, says Dr Caroline Thompson, a Paris-based child psychologist and family therapist who grew up in America until the age of eight and has a British father. She believes differences in parenting are largely down to the difference in how the mothers view themselves. I loved this book in spite of its many criticisms of what was my personal devotion to the Dr. Sears School of Attachment Parenting and in spite of its celebration of the working mother, a lifestyle of which I know nothing and a topic which I find to be complicated and uncomfortable to discuss. There is no mention of homeschooling. Giving to SIPA > List of Donors". SIPA: School of International and Public Affairs at Columbia University. Archived from the original on 14 August 2009. This will be one of the only - if not THE only - parenting style books I read. I'm a Francophile anyway, but I loved this American expat's take on the study of French parenting & how she tried to integrate it, as best she could, into her children's lives while living in Paris. Firm rules & boundaries, but with freedom within that. Respect for children as intelligent beings capable of learning - and NOT in need of constant hand holding to do so. Respecting the fact that parents have lives & needs - and that the world doesn't revolve around your kids. No hovering, over analyzing, emphasis on "parenting style", constant praise, paranoia like American parents today do. One of my biggest peeves is having a conversation with a friend who's attention is about 50% - because the other 50% is talking to or entertaining their kid. French children are taught that being alone & entertaining yourself (even as toddlers) is expected. Their parents respect them enough to allow them to do so, and in return, they respect their parents' needs separate from them, too.But that's the thing—this modern version of American parenting? ATTACHMENT parenting, as they call it? It's the antithesis of the way the French do it and, I believe, the way Americans USED to parent, 30 to 40 years ago. (In short, I think it's all a bit nutty). That is a bundle of generalisations and stereotypes, but then few things are guaranteed to polarise opinions – and boost sales – as much as how we raise and educate our offspring. So, let's start from the beginning: pregnancy and childbirth. There is no legitimized "special" state of gluttony, no: "The baby wants oysters (cakes, barbecue, substitute the right one)." Strict weight control throughout pregnancy. It is not considered shameful to directly tell the expectant mother that it is not worth eating so much and moving so little – it is not good for her or the child. Bénédicte Lohe-Le Blanc, 38, a teacher originally from Brittany, and her husband Vincent, 39, live with their three children, Sten, 11, Yaelle, nine, and Kenan, six, in west London. She believes British parents are lax with their children. Dem kann ich in einigen Punkten nicht zustimmen, denn eigentlich ist das kein Erziehungsratgeber, die Autorin berichtet in einer Mischung aus persönlichen Anekdoten und wissenschaftlichen Forschungsergebnissen davon, wie unterschiedlich Kindererziehung in Frankreich und Amerika gehandhabt wird. Wer sich aber tatsächliche Erziehungstipps erwartet, wird sie in diesem Roman nicht finden, es gibt zwar schon einige Punkte, in denen recht konkret beschrieben wird, wie französische Familien mit Erziehungsfragen umgehen, der Großteil bleibt aber vage.